Sunday, January 16, 2011

Pizza Thirst

It is a real thing, Pizza Thirst. No, it is not a thirst for pizza. It is thirst brought on by eating pizza. We have all eaten pizza that does not give us Pizza Thirst. In fact, I have only ever had one type of pizza that does. I have affectionately begun to know it as Bishop's Pizza. It is the pizza that I grew up on, and is the brain child of my dad. Anyone who has had this pizza undoubtedly knows how good it is. Aside from the taste of the pizza there are many traditions to talk about when it comes down to this pizza. This time, I am going to pick on Pizza Thirst.

My family has been eating this pizza as long as I can remember. Every Friday for as long as all the kids were in the house, we would have this pizza. Late every Friday night would be the elegant dance around the faucet in the kitchen to get to the much-needed water. This pizza is a peculiar devil. The affect of bishop's pizza on the bishop himself is either hidden or absent. Unlike his bread, he is willing to binge a little bit on the pizza. He eats a lot of the pizza. He also avoids the water dance that the rest of the family does all night. It is a true puzzle to me.

I can remember times at midnight running into my mom or siblings in the kitchen. Mom would ask why we were awake. Upon learning that we had Pizza Thirst, she would commiserate with us. She was always inclined to tell us just how many glasses of water she had consumed since we finished our meal. We all have our favorite things to talk about when it came to pizza thirst. My favorite was to curse the last piece of pizza I had. To me, it was always the last piece, not the first six that did me in.

I still wonder aloud why Pizza Thirst can strike so hard. What is it about Bishop's Pizza that makes me so thirsty?

My close friends and I have all started to have weekly get-togethers for dinner and a good time. We call it "The Sparkle-Fingles Supper club. (Maybe someday I will explain that.) We all live in rural Wisconsin and often have little to do on cold winter nights. I enjoy hosting these nights as much as I enjoy being hosted. This past week we had my version on Bishop's Pizza. I made six pizzas for the group, and we ate all but a handful of pieces. I have always hoped that my version was at the very least a close replica of my dad's pizza. This week's pizza was the closest to the real thing I have ever made. How do I know? Pizza Thirst struck hard.

I had made Bishop's Pizza before. The first time we had had the pizza I told everyone about Pizza Thirst. I had gotten a little ahead of myself. Until this past week, Pizza Thirst was just a myth to my friends. They didn't know what was in store for them.

This past pizza night, Pizza Thirst did not just strike me. I did not have any late night run ins in the kitchen. I was awfully alone chugging water at 3:30am. Once I got to work the next day though, I had an email from one of the Sparkle-Fingle-ers. "Worst. Pizza Thirst. Ever. 4am. My mouth was like the sahara in the dry season." I heard through the day that at least half of the SFers woke up with Pizza Thirst. I am curious what my dad and the others SFers have in common that makes them (seemingly) impervious to Pizza Thirst.

I felt somewhat relieved to not be the only one who had Pizza Thirst that night. I also felt reassured in my pursuit of my dad's pizza. This one is for those who have had it before. Here's hoping you will get to have Pizza Thirst again someday!

My version of Bishop's Pizza. It is true to his style to cut directly on the counter. My mom would kill us both if she knew...


  1. 1. Dad DOES get pizza thirst. He invented the term.
    2. Because I never cut anything on the counter? Haha, preserve the mom myths!

  2. I get pizza thirst every time I eat pizza. Maybe I'm some sort of freak.
    Maybe hold the maybe.